why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
