Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
