Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
