That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
...so i touched it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home