he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
