we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
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he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
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And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks