Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore