i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We need to get me chipped asap
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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