You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
