too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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