if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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