she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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