you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
