I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need a beard to bite.
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