I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize