Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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