Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
there was a trapeze. enough said
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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