I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
