I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
