I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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