Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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