Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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