Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
