"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
