Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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