Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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