toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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