babies were throwing up all over the place
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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