But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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