Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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