I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
