I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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