you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
