He uses pillows to masturbate.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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