Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
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I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
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It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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