I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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