i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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