i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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