I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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