You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
