I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
