Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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