Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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