She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize