Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
