I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
