Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
