What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
