Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize