help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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