Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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