Can Purell be used as lube?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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