so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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