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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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