Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
