I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
