I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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