Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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