ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize