So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
