just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
