Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
