I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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